Can Happiness in Marriage Really Last?

In getting married in nsw you can use a combination of both names, it is up for the couple to decide. When couples get married, they are fully, unashamedly, devotedly in love. They sacrifice their time with others to spend it with each other; they show one another small acts of their love to one another on a daily basis and are affectionate to each other in public. But as the years roll by, they grow a little more distant, they regard each other with cool looks and haughty glances. They’ve been with each other for a long time and gotten to know each other too well it would seem.

Why are pictures of old people that are hugging or kissing so special and unique these days? Because people want to believe, no, they NEED to believe that young, vibrant love and intimacy can last a lifetime. But life, relationships, hard times and the economy has taken its toll on married couples in the 21st century. Hope is dim, love is a dream, the words happiness and marriage can’t be placed in the same sentence and 50th marriage anniversaries are considered to be a myth.

One of the most common questions that are asked today is, “Can happiness in a marriage last?” If you Google this question, things like “Take this test to determine if your marriage will last?” and people forums discussing “Does marriage make you happier?” will show up. “4 tips from buddha for a happier marriage”, “Second Marriages: 4 Reasons They Are Better Than The First”, and “Is the Road to Happiness… Divorce?” came up when I Googled the question can happiness in a marriage last.

How can a marriage last if two selfish beings, looking for significance and pleasure in the opposite sex, get married for the wrong reason? If you got married to find happiness, or contentment, or for love, then the answer is no! Happiness will not last in your marriage. Because, as a wife, you need your husband’s love and attention; as a husband, you need your wife’s help and respect. You are both pulling on each other for something that you both cannot give. You are looking for something in your spouse that will not satisfy if given by human efforts. Without God at the center of your marriage you are only two selfish people living under the same roof. The only way that happiness could last in any marriage is if your union is bringing glory to the One who gave you to each other!

Bringing glory to God through your marriage is the ultimate act of True Love. It means dying to self and “submitting to one another out of Reverence for God” (Eph. 5:21). Simply look at each other through Gods eyes. Put your focus on 1. Submitting, 2. Serving, and 3. Self-Sacrificing and you will have a happiness that will last.

The 3 Marriage S’s!

Submitting: I wrote a book on the passage quoted above (Eph.5:21) it is titled “5:21”. This passage holds one of the biggest overlooked secrets to a healthy marriage! It will cause you to face your selfishness and the harm it does to your marriage. It will help you understand each other more deeply and therefore serve each other in your places of greatest need. If only you would submit your will and your desires and your plans to the Lord and then submit yourself humbly to your spouse by putting their needs first, you would see a dramatic 360° u-turn in your marriage life. Submitting=Happiness for you + spouse

Serving: “My wife and I just don’t have the same feelings for each other we used to have. I guess I just don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t love me. What can I do?”

“The feeling isn’t there anymore?” I asked.

“That’s right,” he reaffirmed. “And we have three children we’re really concerned about. What do you suggest?”

“Love her,” I replied.

“I told you, the feeling just isn’t there anymore.”

“Love her.”

“You don’t understand. the feeling of love just isn’t there.”

“Then love her. If the feeling isn’t there, that’s a good reason to love her.”

“But how do you love when you don’t love?”

“My friend, love is a verb. Love – the feeling – is a fruit of love, the verb. So love her. Serve her. Sacrifice. Listen to her. Empathize. Appreciate. Affirm her. Are you willing to do that?”

– Stephen R. Covey

Serving your spouse takes a lot of LOVE, a lot of sacrifice and a lot of Gods help! Take the time to do something for your spouse. Cheer him/her, hug her/him, and simply think about them. What have you got to lose? Serving=Happiness for you + spouse

Self-Sacrificing: This might be one of the hardest “3 Marriage S’s”. We all know what it’s like to have our own plans, then things go awry and suddenly your plans are ruined. Things don’t go as planned all of the time. If spending time with your spouse means sacrificing your time with friends, or your time alone, or your time golfing, then save yourself a lot of trouble down the road and stay with your spouse and lay your plans down on the alter or marriage. Self-sacrificing means surrendering something that will only give you momentary pleasure for a happiness that will last you a lifetime; it will be well worth it.

Self-Sacrificing =Happiness for you + spouse

Write down the 3 Marriage S’s on a note, hang it on the fridge or somewhere that you will see it regularly. Asking for Jesus’ help practice Submitting, Serving and Self-Sacrificing on a daily basis and watch God do the rest.

Thank you for reading. God bless.

Help for Hurting Marriages is a Christian marriage counseling site that provides FREE counseling and offers the book 5:21, a comprehensive guide to improving & healing your marriage. The book and a professional marriage counselor can be found at our website.

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